weekly challenge: update

Challenge 1: Controlling my feelings = successful!

Being successful on this area though, might have been due to the fact that we go home together last week. And by go home together I meant riding down the elevator through those 5 floors and going separate ways at the taxi stand. It's funny cause we part right down the building though from what I understand that isn't what we really want. I think both of us originally planned to cut our costs by riding the cab together to gate three and taking our separate jeepneys from there. Though he could have gone home as soon as he's done instead of waiting around an hour or so, quite puzzled why he did that.  That week came to me when I least expected it. It still gives me the highs thinking about it now.

I wonder what he would feel when he finds out I am writing about him here. Will he freak out? hahaha I'm just happy that this blog is non-searchable and is known to very few and well trusted people only.


Challenge 2: Sleeping early = FAILED

Fcuk I go home around 4 or 3 something which technically makes it 4am so no, NO CHANCE OF GETTING TO BED EARLY. Well yeah it's early in the morning gahd it sucks thinking about it.


--

Nex week's challenge?

1. Be happy and stay happy. Learn to take it all coolly
2. Learn as much as I can from training and welcome it wholeheartedly 

weekly challenge

kwistyon

I have a question that's been bugging me... I am so curious why it's very easy for people to put color unto things, unto everything actually like they are free to act around and pass their judgement about things that most of the time ( I think) they don't even know. To put into context what I'm talking about here is one of my facebook status that I've posted

one of the best memories from my birthday this year is when he wished me happy birthday and he looked me straight in my eyes and wished me happiness.  — feeling touched.

I've received mix reactions about it.Most of them already assumed for it to be something romantic. Nagtataka ako bakit ang dali daling bahiran ng kulay ng mga bagay bagay. Am I the weird one here for asking this?

2014 goal

I've been dreaming of posting something here that would actually cause delight to you fellow readers but I find it really hard to write when I'm happy. I don't know if that even makes any sense. So instead I'll make the mood of this post be hopeful rather than depressing.

I'll post about the list of the things I would want to achieve this 2014

first is to read, read and read many books. Now that I am earning my own money I should invest more on something I love doing. I am ashamed of myself when it comes to this category pfuit I can remember the last time I bought a book as it was just recently however I wasn't able to finish it yet. (shame on me I know) basta the goal is to read as many books as I can.

second is to ride a plane and go somewhere.  anywhere somewhere pref the beach.

third is to discover my talent, discover my passion and discover what I enjoy doing and be good at it.

When I look into this post on January of 2015 I do hopefully wish with all my heart that I've managed to accomplish it all.

--MMR

Song of the week

The Crooked Kind by Radical Face

"So, collect your scars and wear 'em well

Your blood's a good an ink as any

Go scratch your name into the clouds

And pull 'em all... down"

Found out about this song from one of the tv series that I am currently hooked on: Elementary. This is the song playing at the end of episode twelve of the second season. Right away as I've heard the first few words + tune of the song I knew it had to be Ben Cooper; I am simply in love with this guy I cant even... I've never met anyone to be so poetic with their song that could produce the words that actually matches the melody. Right away he can make you feel it with his songs, he can hit it right through you. I highly recommend people to listen to him.  on the side note: This was playing while he was holding out the letters Sherlock got from Moriarty and I swear at that moment I thought he would burn them and that he would let go but I guess he cant. He held on.  and I cried. I felt his pain.

hooraay for birthdays!! I got to kiss him. first time I got to kiss somebody I like jejeje kahit sa cheeks lang un :) <3  still I am sad that I see no interest in him whatsoever to get to know me. I am reminded yet again from the two instances that he did not get back to my messages that I am on the right track. Yes. I just have to continue letting go. :)

latency

Last night I watch as his friends try to rekindle him with his old flame. I study his face. I watch his expression, registered is something I could understand. I watch him sitting there awkwardly fiddling with his phone, pretending to read something. I remember he let me in on a secret before about a theme he downloaded on his phone where you would burst the bubbles on your screen so that you can pretend you are txting, so I know what he’s doing. I chose not to sit beside him. I watch and sit there as it happens. At that moment I felt like my world is collapsing, like a scene in a tv drama is happening to me. Half of me wished that I never saw it because half of me still believes and yearns for a chance and half of me is happy that it slapped me in the face, the girl is sweet, sexy, kind and pretty after all, I feel like I can never live up to that.

Sometimes I wish that he would pick up on my hints here and there. He knows how much I care about him, that in the least I made sure he feels. I wish he would care like he would txt me back because he wants to and not just because he feels obligated. I miss the moments when we’re alone together, smoking the shit out of our asses, kahit asarin niya na lang ako ng asarin I’d take that anytime than this feeling I’ve been having for quite sometime now; like we’ve lost the connection we’ve once had or thought we had.

Last night the last thing he told me was to go home “umuwi ka na”. Like a kid he commanded me to get going and before that in the hallway while waiting for each of our friends to show up he was teasing me with something like ‘umuwi ka na, ayan na yung school bus mo’ and I wonder is that all he sees me as? And with this sad story friends I leave you with a quote from Rebecca, one of my favorite books:


We were not suited to one another. I was too young for Maxim, too inexperienced, and more important still, I was not of his world. The fact that I loved him in a sick, hurt, desperate way, like a child or a dog, did not matter. It was not the sort of love he needed. He wanted something else that I could not give him, something he had before"