weekly challenge

kwistyon

I have a question that's been bugging me... I am so curious why it's very easy for people to put color unto things, unto everything actually like they are free to act around and pass their judgement about things that most of the time ( I think) they don't even know. To put into context what I'm talking about here is one of my facebook status that I've posted

one of the best memories from my birthday this year is when he wished me happy birthday and he looked me straight in my eyes and wished me happiness.  — feeling touched.

I've received mix reactions about it.Most of them already assumed for it to be something romantic. Nagtataka ako bakit ang dali daling bahiran ng kulay ng mga bagay bagay. Am I the weird one here for asking this?

2014 goal

I've been dreaming of posting something here that would actually cause delight to you fellow readers but I find it really hard to write when I'm happy. I don't know if that even makes any sense. So instead I'll make the mood of this post be hopeful rather than depressing.

I'll post about the list of the things I would want to achieve this 2014

first is to read, read and read many books. Now that I am earning my own money I should invest more on something I love doing. I am ashamed of myself when it comes to this category pfuit I can remember the last time I bought a book as it was just recently however I wasn't able to finish it yet. (shame on me I know) basta the goal is to read as many books as I can.

second is to ride a plane and go somewhere.  anywhere somewhere pref the beach.

third is to discover my talent, discover my passion and discover what I enjoy doing and be good at it.

When I look into this post on January of 2015 I do hopefully wish with all my heart that I've managed to accomplish it all.

--MMR

Song of the week

The Crooked Kind by Radical Face

"So, collect your scars and wear 'em well

Your blood's a good an ink as any

Go scratch your name into the clouds

And pull 'em all... down"

Found out about this song from one of the tv series that I am currently hooked on: Elementary. This is the song playing at the end of episode twelve of the second season. Right away as I've heard the first few words + tune of the song I knew it had to be Ben Cooper; I am simply in love with this guy I cant even... I've never met anyone to be so poetic with their song that could produce the words that actually matches the melody. Right away he can make you feel it with his songs, he can hit it right through you. I highly recommend people to listen to him.  on the side note: This was playing while he was holding out the letters Sherlock got from Moriarty and I swear at that moment I thought he would burn them and that he would let go but I guess he cant. He held on.  and I cried. I felt his pain.

hooraay for birthdays!! I got to kiss him. first time I got to kiss somebody I like jejeje kahit sa cheeks lang un :) <3  still I am sad that I see no interest in him whatsoever to get to know me. I am reminded yet again from the two instances that he did not get back to my messages that I am on the right track. Yes. I just have to continue letting go. :)

latency

Last night I watch as his friends try to rekindle him with his old flame. I study his face. I watch his expression, registered is something I could understand. I watch him sitting there awkwardly fiddling with his phone, pretending to read something. I remember he let me in on a secret before about a theme he downloaded on his phone where you would burst the bubbles on your screen so that you can pretend you are txting, so I know what he’s doing. I chose not to sit beside him. I watch and sit there as it happens. At that moment I felt like my world is collapsing, like a scene in a tv drama is happening to me. Half of me wished that I never saw it because half of me still believes and yearns for a chance and half of me is happy that it slapped me in the face, the girl is sweet, sexy, kind and pretty after all, I feel like I can never live up to that.

Sometimes I wish that he would pick up on my hints here and there. He knows how much I care about him, that in the least I made sure he feels. I wish he would care like he would txt me back because he wants to and not just because he feels obligated. I miss the moments when we’re alone together, smoking the shit out of our asses, kahit asarin niya na lang ako ng asarin I’d take that anytime than this feeling I’ve been having for quite sometime now; like we’ve lost the connection we’ve once had or thought we had.

Last night the last thing he told me was to go home “umuwi ka na”. Like a kid he commanded me to get going and before that in the hallway while waiting for each of our friends to show up he was teasing me with something like ‘umuwi ka na, ayan na yung school bus mo’ and I wonder is that all he sees me as? And with this sad story friends I leave you with a quote from Rebecca, one of my favorite books:


We were not suited to one another. I was too young for Maxim, too inexperienced, and more important still, I was not of his world. The fact that I loved him in a sick, hurt, desperate way, like a child or a dog, did not matter. It was not the sort of love he needed. He wanted something else that I could not give him, something he had before"

my soundtrack

Though my eyes look

at you, I can’t see you

Though my lips call you,

you can’t hear me

Though my heart wants

you, you can’t feel it

Though my everything looks

for you, you’re not there

I’ve never learned about love but

why are these feelings coming

to me? It hurts so much that I

can’t handle it so I can’t go to you

Though my heart wants

you, you can’t feel it

Though my everything looks

for you, you’re not there

I’ve never learned about love but

why are these feelings coming

to me? It hurts so much that I can’t

handle it so I can’t go to you

I want you and hope for you

but I can’t have you

I try to change love into

goodbye but my heart…

I’ve never learned about love but

why are these feelings coming

to me? It hurts so much that I can’t

handle it so I can’t go to you

I can’t take this anymore, why has

this kind of pain come to me?

I think I’ll be like this for a while,

my wings are cut up because of you

I think I’ll be like this for a while

I think I’ll be like this for a while

I think I’ll be like this for a while

mula sa kakatapos ko lang panuorin na Koreanovela

01-04-14

missing somebody so much who hasn't even given a thought or two about you sucks so much. liking somebody who doesn't even know the way you feel for that person feels like hell. thinking of that somebody all the time and all you can do is wonder about the what ifs, and imagine how life would simply be better if you were together.

31st January 2013

IN THE NICK OF TIME

31st January 2013--that night was awesome in it's unique kind of way. See I have to work that day and my family already left for Baguio that day so I spent the midnight literally alone and what more? I have no phone, it's currently being repaired as I type. at work I thought it's gonna be Christmas Day again with no calls and shit especially since ( I thought ) New Year would be bigger than Christmas but Nooo we could hardly breathe from the queue. There are just a handful of us agents handling that call volume it's insane! We were even being asked if we could go OT and hell No, never in a million years will I miss New Year's Eve!
My shift was around 2pm to 11pm and when I went down to grab a cab THERE WERE NONE!!  I had to wait until it's 11:40 to finally be on one. I got home at 11:50 and ran like a maniac to the top of my house just in time for the explosion, I swear at that moment I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. I smiled for 15 minutes because I couldn't believe my luck! Ang galing galing galing lang! I stayed up there for another 30 minutes and went down to have my feast-- Cheese Pizza, Leche Flan and Pasta Alfredo. I had dalandan prepared and Tequila so I had me drunk! Yey drunk me on a New Year! hoooora :)) I borrowed a phone had my sim card inserted and was glad that people actually greeted me (personally) I do not fucking like the group message greeting thing that people has been going on with, and what more? my crush greeted me so I'm happy/surprised about that as well.

I slept at around 3 am and woke up to my best friends txt messages. Am I not the luckiest? for having someone who not just tried but really did put an effort to be there with me, to spend time with me, to accompany me. I couldn't be more thankful! That did of hers would probably last her a year of being in good terms with me. She could always use that as a leverage to bully me into doing something for her. =)))

...to be continued cause I am running out of time, duty awaits!

New Years Resolution I PROMISE to keep (if I wouldn't be such an ass about it)

2. SLEEP EARLY this is very important as I am getting uglier and so is my skin

3. THINK LESS AT NIGHT/WORRY LESS -- this hinders me from sleeping early. I just have stop pondering about things that doesn't really need my attention much. be reminded that whatever will be will happen.

4. THINK BETTER OF MYSELF--stop the pity party.

5. STOP/LESSEN SMOKING I am getting uglier and my lips are getting DARKER. FUCK IT! 

6. BUDGET MONEY WISELY and learn to save. kailangan ko mahiya sa sarili ko, hindi naman ganito ang magulang ko sa pera, I seriously have to get my act together and be like them in terms of their monetary handling skills.

7. EXERCISE MORE start running again in connection with the smoking, stop smoking so that I can start running easily.

8. STOP BREAKING MY WORD as I've mentioned here before, if there's one thing I am good at? it's breaking the word/promise I impose on myself. 

1. LIVE IN THE PRESENT and LIVE THE MOMENT