song post again2

SONG OF THE WEEK:

I don't know how I got here (to this song) I just did. I got addicted and I haven't even had experienced what she felt yet, I guess you don't need experiences to feel the feeling :)) yeah? but it's a nice song and it's somewhat related to love and death as the other songs I like.

Dark Paradise by Lana Del Ray

"Dark Paradise"

All my friends tell me I should move on
I'm lying in the ocean, singing your song
Ahhh, that's how you sang it
Loving you forever, can't be wrong
Even though you're not here, won't move on
Ahhh, that's how we played it

And there's no remedy for memory your face is
Like a melody, it won't leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead

Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side

All my friends ask me why I stay strong
Tell 'em when you find true love it lives on
Ahhh, that's why I stay here

And there's no remedy for memory your face is
Like a melody, it won't leave my head
Your soul is haunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead

Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you

But there's no you, except in my dreams tonight,
Oh oh oh, ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh oh, ha ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

There's no relief, I see you in my sleep
And everybody's rushing me, but I can feel you touching me
There's no release, I feel you in my dreams
Telling me I'm fine

Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes
It's like a dark paradise
No one compares to you

But there's no you, except in my dreams tonight,
Oh oh oh oh, ha ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight
Oh oh oh oh, ha ha ha ha
I don't wanna wake up from this tonight

SONG OF THE WEEK2 and VIDEO OF THE WEEK:

Featuring Johnny Fucking Depp! I love the song and have only discovered it a week ago! gaah I know right? but I like it soo much. Because I WISH I WAS SPECIAL SO FUCKING SPECIAL.

one afternoon

I was having a smoke at the rooftop of my home. The sky was starting to clear up after a light shower from the skies. It was dusk: my FAVORITE part of the day! It's always ALWAYS pure ecstasy for me to witness the setting sun and to watch the sky as it gradually changes its color from blue to orange to a deeper auburn color. No two are the same which makes everything much more interesting.  I don't know the reason behind how I feel (ecstatic) when I do I just do. Sadly it's one of the many things in life that I take for granted; the beauty of a sunset.

On a heavier note, I was watching the sky as I puff when I noticed that the clouds weren't moving but then I looked deeper/focused more and realize that I was mistaken. I can see that gray clouds were very slowly inching away and then I focused a little more and saw that there are five tiny birds playing with the wind up up high in the sky. I guess the values I've learned on that scenario could also be applied in many moments in life. Most of the time we look but we don't really see and by not looking close enough we miss out on the many beautiful details that are right there in front of us. We can maybe apply it in situations where we feel stuck or during the not so pleasant experiences that we've had/will have. Often, if not always, we want things done our way and get what we want when we want it, but it might be that we're stuck there because we haven't seen what we have to see yet... or well you get the principle. Sometimes I think we just have to be keen on the details, because maybe it could lead us to the road of comfort. 

what's in a name?

I've been called many different names/nicknames one too many times that it doesn't quite affect me negatively anymore and besides ang pikon talo yeah? But I've realize something I really really like it when people call me by my whole name: Maureen. It doesn't happen often, as a matter of fact it rarely happens so when I hear people say my name I get this weird feeling inside me. hahaha weird yeah? but it's a pleasant kind of feeling, like there's an effort there to catch my attention. Except maybe when my boss would like to reprimand me and calls me by my whole name or my mom. hahaha but yeah there I hope more people would call me by my own name.


I believe I've already posted the meaning of my name here somewhere, I just can't find the post number so I could link it here but it's here somewhere I'm sure.

updat/

found my nam/ post http://whinerkidd.blogspot.com/2011/08/haha-just-found-out-meaning-of-my.html

confession.

this is so me. so much that it creeps me out. it amazes me to know that there is somebody out there feeling the exact same thing I'm fucking feeling for many many days. 

damn.

"If I ever happen to have an accident that eventually costs me my life, I hope it is in one go. I would not like to be in a wheelchair. I would not like to be in a hospital suffering from whatever injury it was. If I’m going to live, I want to live fully, very intensely, because I am an intense person. It would ruin my life if I had to live partially."  --Ayrton Senna

honored!

Because once upon a time I (sort of) got featured in the school webs' news and I co-wrote the article as well :)

I did work hard for this :)

finally!

after many months of waiting for a call, resume passing, plenty of failed exams and entrance screening interviews I finally found a job! I signed in at the first offer that chanced me cause really there's no comparing the feeling of being unwanted, feeling unqualified and not having a penny to spend when I want things which affected my self esteem badly. I am currently working an IT company in McKinley not as a programmer but as a help desk analyst. My position closely resembles to that of a call center if it isn't what it is already. I am currently affiliated with a huge ass bank and the position is extremely demanding especially for someone like me who never even gets out the couch to answer the phone calls meant for me. Also the position I am in right now demands me to be highly skilled at analyzing (which I'm good at mehehe) however it also requires me to memorize a lot of things which is extremely difficult as I am not really really good at it, also I am with a bunch of IT people whereas I am not (well not really) and the account is sooo technical. At the moment however, I am taking it as a challenge. I am pushing myself further to go out of the place where I am comfortable in. As I have posted on my Facebook account telling me that: You do not simply quit because things are getting harder, nothing compares to the feeling of conquering a rough patch.  My inspiration from this post is from my experience during college intramural wherein I decided to join the cheer leading team! Dancing is something I really really never ever do in life (in public), every damn day of practice I tell my friends that I would quit tomorrow as it gets harder and harder everyday and there are more and more steps, sequence and stunts to memorize but ALAS! I made it 'til competition day! Yes I did! haha we actually won!! well sort of as there has been some ehem magic hocus pocus stuff with the judges that made us win second place instead of first. that might not have been a positive and proper mind set but hey it got me through the end yeah? I persevered and the fruits are only too magical to forget so I'm trying to apply that now here as well.  At the moment I just really have to love what I do. :) toodles

lost...

THIS IS ME NOW.