please?

what i really really want right now? is a hug a tight, big bear hug. I cannot think of anything more comforting :((

Day 1: fave food and a portrait of me self

DOUGHNUTS is love

another very happy portrait

Kowloon House Siopao my gaaahd

no matter how bad this always looks on photos I will always love it! looks can be deceiving you know

the pretiest I've been on a photograph for a while now with the help of concealer + foundation of course

huh?

I don't know how I almost forgot his birthday. hahaha that all Happy Birthday YOU!

SLR

Here's the thing my dad's 30 year old camera cannot vbe fcuking found anywhere well not anwwhere since I havent searched the whole house yet but it's not in the place where it most likely should be. I'm going bananas like seriously I cannot sleep nor nap peacefully because I haven't found it yet. The sentimental value of the camera is way too deep that a brand new one can't even amount to half its' value to us. I was the last person who played with it so most probably it's with me. the thing is my last recollection of the camera was way back in September 2010 where I brought it to our school to exhibit is as an "old gadget" I still lost to some family computer that's 40 years old or something. the dilemma now is I cannot recall if I've left it there (which is highly unlikely however I cannot find it here at home so it's still a possible reason) i could vividly recall the bag I used back then and even found it abandoned here however the camera isn't there and besides when I loaned the camera for the exhibit the bag was with me so if I did left the camera with the organizers shouldn't the bag be here?
the very very frantic Capricorn part of me is entertaining thoughts about me possibly have left it on the jeepney (which sort of never happened before though not impossible) I JUST WANT TO FIND IT

blabber bored

been listening to her since MTV outed her as their break through artist of the month but then I had to focus more on my indie rock group so she was set aside for some time but I don't know how she crept up to the top of my playlist again and been hooked on her for a week now. this song is my favorite as of current.

puto

now that I've got the means I'll embarked on the journey of doing the Photo Challenge! yey! though I'm very sure that it sure is difficult to keep up with so Good Luck sa akin!

this is what the search engine spewed out several times when I logged the keyword November Photo Challenge on the search box:

I however find this more interesting and much more challenging so ... haha I don't know which one I'll concentrate on I guess you'll have to come back to this blog

and lovin' this right now 

it's 4pm and I'm still lying in my bed now this is the life!! this is the rest I've been craving for for weeks and weeks now however this day isn't as nice as I'm constantly being bothered by this stubborn headache that just wont leave me at peace *sigh* 

whatever I'll go back to my series

i love them :))

c'est la vie

it's annoying and frustrating and confusing to still get an A- irregardless if I had one absent or not. It's annoying how you did put a lot of effort, financial what nots, time, sleep and thought just like your groupmates did and not get the same grade. When your dysmenorrhea gets the best of you and you decide to go absent for a class & you get a -10 in your grade but hey whoever said the world is fair? I just have to suck it up and never trust that Prof again. what hurts the most is the lack of sympathy and the presence of sarcasm in the air when you tried to sought comfort from...  and just to be clear it's not the grade that I'm upset about it's the system oh well c'est la vie  :)

avatar

was asking myself why I was so into this guy 

then this gave me the answer

tumblroos

the saddest thing I came across on tumblr to date. gahd how miserable that person must be :(

to all my friends

I was slowly reading through Tumblr when I came across this quote after reading the question mark I literally asked myself aloud "who's him" and then I read the explanation underneath then I remembered how many years I also came across this but had an entirely different reaction to the question: I remember back then I had an image, name in mind already but I guess all that has changed now. 

this is a nice song :)

inspiring

WHEN YOU'VE HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN, YOU'VE FALLEN DOWN AND FALLEN APART BE POSITIVE BECAUSE THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO BUT UP FROM THERE JUST TRY.

Try -- P!nk

after MIDTERMS

After midterms which is next week I promise with all my heart to continue watching the Borgias again :/ I solemnly promise to finish season 1 & 2 during the short breather that the school is giving us before Synthesis enkk ;/  After then I'll give you the reviews.

 Lucrezia Borgia

 babe why you so hot??

 babe Cardinal Borgia

Giulia Farnese

And after which of course I promise to finish watching GoT :D eheheh

P.S.

ang lang ng mukha kong ilagay sa post na 'to na after midterms eh finals na nga pala ENKKK!

first love never dies

nothing, no one can give me satisfaction as much as this sport does!

watch it and maybe you'll understand me a bit.

nice

goal: size 12 and I strongly believe that i can do it!

grad pic is up soon and while I'm too busy looking out for the perfect outfit my mom suddenly came up with the idea of simply going to the couturier because she believes that nothing out there fits me. sucks the helly hell hole. I however sort of likes the idea it it'll be cheaper for us i've been deciding whether i'll have this

  done for me or find that floral dress that I'm looking out for. :((

also this is another one of my pegs 

what do you guys think??

why I love him so much i could die

Yeongam, October 10 - Fernando Alonso has spent three days in Japan to rest and recharge before coming to Korea this afternoon and start the mini championship with five races that begins this weekend in Yeongam, about Mokpo. The Spanish spent three days in the land of the Samurai, which has charged the batteries after the disappointment of Suzuka, we chatted with him and he told us how he spent these days between one race and another. "I've been all the time in Tokyo, a city that I love," said Fernando  www.ferrari.com . "There is always something new to discover and, although it is a major metropolis, you can still enjoy its tranquility, due in part to the people who live there. Another of the things I like, is the food. The Tuesday night, Felipe and I were having dinner with some Ferrari owners, and we had the opportunity to test our skills in preparing sushi, always under the direction of some local chefs. To be honest, I could not tell if it was good or not, but no one complained ... At least no one said anything bad ".

Obviously, the issue of abandonment left the Japanese Grand Prix, which ended most of the advantage of the Spanish enjoyed over Vettel. "It was very disappointing, but it's history and not have to keep turning it over," he said. "As I said before leaving the circuit, now we start again from scratch, as now between Vettel and I only have four points of difference and others have cut away. The winner is the one who manages to win one more point than the other . It does need to have a fast car, not make mistakes and expect failures do not harm others too, as we did in Spa and then in Suzuka. Without these incidents the situation would be quite different. "

Fernando also spoke of competitiveness shown by the F2012, a much discussed topic in recent days."Clearly there are some teams in the latter period of the season have taken a major step forward, while we have not done the same, especially as to how the car behaves in certain types of circuits.However, it is also true that in Monza, for example, we had a good enough car to pole, while in Singapore we missed a bit. In a way, in Suzuka also suffer, but Felipe was shown to be quite competitive, if we were not as quick as the Red Bulls, at least we were at the level of the other. In fact, these ups and downs are still the norm this season: in Japan, the McLaren seemed less strong than in previous races, while Red Bull took an important step, as did Sauber. Much has been made of us because everyone is always focused on the Red team: here, for example, if we test a spoiler once and then not use it, it's news, but these things tend to happen regularly on all computers. Now all we have to do is get back on track and I am sure we will be able to do it. "  

Ferrari's Spanish driver also wanted to make clear his confidence in the ability of the team. "I am convinced that we can be in the fight until the end," said the Spaniard. "The people who are working on the car is the same one that has done a good job so far and there is reason to believe that they will not be able to do a good job again now. Do not forget this: if I lead the World Cup is because we were able to improve the car significantly from the beginning of the season and also because we can always make the most of what we have. We have not been given anything, in fact in Spa and Suzuka have stripped us of positions that were readily available. It is the result of some sort of divine miracle we're in this position, is a result of the work of the entire team, from first to last. Formula 1 is a team sport: win and lose as a team. "

he's so down to earth so positive damn it

source

lolol

got rebuked for smoking gaaah :/

i did it again!

told myself I would be sleeping early mga 8 tapos gising ng 6 aral sa socio and gawa rrl, nanuod muna ako tocar y lucho for music app tomo. tapos naisip ko my hands needs to do something so I started doing my nudes tapos inabot na naman ako ng 2 hrs without realizing na 2 hrs na ang nakalipas!! At hindi ko pa din na-ayos ang shape ng arms my gahd I'm hopeless!! lolol but not loosing hope. KAYA KO ITO. will post some of my nudes when I can :D

what I want version 80001

right now?

is my birthday. I happen to have the sweetest set of friend who buys me cake, flowers, balloons at ang sarap sarap sa feeling makatanggap nun. yun lang! 

nonsense blabber2

I declare this day as rest day! after a long grueling week of exhibiting I decided to do nothing school related ish today but then again I can't since the responsibilities of being a classrep hunts me 'til I close my eyes. I had no choice but to do some comm work here and there. Moving on I've always liked Saturdays though I really don't trust this month to do me any good at all. I do not like October period. The above sentences are very incoherent, that's the smokes doing the talking so don't you blame me. Posted bellow is a photo of my room accompaniment for today. After doing the laundry, to unwind, I decided to go on and watch Princess Hours (my all time fave korean tv drama) and Supersizers Go (my 2nd fave British series) and catch up on WDS2 before S3 goes out next week, after my friend decided to go MIA on me but I don't know what happened: I ended up playing tetris instead and watched a docu about Manong Johnny on ANC(it was great btw). 

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I've been editing the writeups of my classmates for our yearbook. yes yearbook, meaning graduation is fast approaching YEY fcuk it. I do not want school to end. and I didn't realize that I was touched by something written there until I read it for about 3 times, in one of the hash tags of my best friend written was #semiheartshapeddiamong something something like that and it originated from me so wala lang it's nice haha. I also noticed how some of my friend describe each other it was touching, full of love (love of various kinds actually if you know what I mean). aah it's just exciting. I have to practice my smile and finalize my creative shot peg/style.

some of my favorite hashtags from my classmates:

#challengealwaysaccepted #SHESpokeWordsThatWouldMeltInUrHand

 #I’ve fallen down, but I’ll RAISSA-bove it. . #childatheart #Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. #“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand - confucius”
#TheBaker 
  

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If you were observant you'll understand that not everything on this blog is about me/my feelings. What I do is I take the feelings of others, absorb it and write something about it that's why in two separate conversations with my friends I got two bizarre but similar reactions one of my friends said "you're not feeling emo, you're mau" while the other one said "mau you're a true emo" I do't know what to do with those comments at all, let alone react so instead I gave them and awkward "haha" But this I am telling you: this post is about me, my feelings. I'm starting to truly appreciate putting on make up, it's to cover what's underneath and to boost my sc because I've been feeling panget lately bec I've been breaking out. I'm trying to learn it just like I'm trying to learn how to draw, that is why I would really love to receive some makeup, make up brushes and more makeup.  I find it fun to improve everyday so yey for improvement! here are also some of the things that I would like right now 

no. 1 WATER I am very thirsty

no. 2 HONESTY. it really is up there with respect on my list of....

no. 3 when I'm being sad, antagonistic I expect others around me to CHEER ME UP and not stay on the same frequency as I am in

no. 4 RESPECT me. I am not invisible nor am I a puppet

no. 5 PEACE OF MIND

no. 6 CHANGE & IMPROVEMENT family matters, friendship matters, school stuff

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 Dealt with a situation lately wherein I haven't entirely analyze and that was when a friend whom I've gotten to ask for advice, and have been dear to me in a short span suddenly thinks that I am somewhat in a special plane with her or have been feeling something special( the loveydovey kind) with her which is totally BS because I had never ever felt anything special with any other girl ever nor will I ever (only time can tell pala)  though I am quite certain that I will never ever enter a same sex relationship. (I have my reasons) 

I've learned this from a common friend & when she told me I was like: "ok lang hindi naman ako tibo" but in my mind I was like [WTF!?!!! wow!] I was busy or my mind was preoccupied when my friend told me about that so I haven't yet realize the gravity of how I felt upon learning that now however, my emotions are stable and I could gladly and confidently say again na "ok lang hindi naman ako tibo"

I am not against the same sex relationship, I am in fact against those who thinks gays, bis etc are menace to the society. I am against labels period. I however am not pleased by those who are gay but hides it (though they have their reasons, I respect that but it would be better if they own up they are fooling themselves and others after all), also those who are in a gay relationship but cannot flaunt it to the world and would even say "hindi naman ako tomboy, girl ako, siya lang yun" hell just say I'm in love and that's it! No further explanations and retaliations needed.

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May kakilala ako na kakarating lang sa Italya nung isang linggo. PANGARAP ko talaga na pumunta dun, lumaboy sa mga kalye at palengke ng Italya. Gusto ko lang makita kultura nila, tradition, pagkain, arkitektura, amoy ng hangin, pamumuhay kasi pakiramdam ko napakayaman nila eh (not money wise) masarap matuto ng mga bagong bagay. YEY FOR ENTHUSIASM TO LEARN!

nonsenseblabber

been sagana with methol sticks (I found a new supplier). sticks was the original title of this post before I changed it to smokes.

I've been reading other people's blog and it turns out I am not the only one who has been thinking a lot lately, another thing my blog IS TOO FCUKING SENTIMENTAL. It's disgusting! I promise with all my dear heart to post positive things on this blog and also I decided to make it public again.


I'm on my third stick for today and it sure isn't healthy at all, been getting warnings/prohibitions from my friends so I think Imma follow 'em soon. I wasn't usually in on smoking on a regular basis however I don't fcuking know what has gotten into me. stress maybe.


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we all have that something that we always feel naked without. The other day I went to school and forgot to wear my watch as I was running very late (as if that's new) and gaah I just lost track of time. seriously I had to sense of time especially being enclosed in a room with no windows. I just  keep checking my wrist and was annoyed the whole day. never again shall it happen!


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I've been drinking freshly brewed coffee all week last week all thanks to my bestfriend who lend me her trusty coffee maker but this is not this bit is about it's about the time I drank coffee and remembered something. As I was emptying my cup a flash of memory surge through me: the taste of the coffee reconnected me to an act of kindness done for me by my friend during my OJT days. It's funny how in the film ratatouille the  food critic had a nostalgic experience about his childhood when he tasted that dish, well the same thing happened to me. nice noh?



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I just admire these people. very dangerous highly exhilarating.

 

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my gaahd been trying to finish this post since 6pm ngunit dahil may libo libong epal na taong kumakatok sa kwarto ko ngayon ko lang natapos 'to after 5 hours and 2 sticks more.and changed the title to nonsense blabber

JPRizal

"It is impossible not to reflect what is felt in oneself, it is impossible to be one thing and to do another; the contradictions are only apparent, they are only paradoxes. "

I just wanna be with this guy. I am dead serious.

I'm still here-goo goo dolls

I am a question to the world

Not an answer to be heard

Or a moment

That's held in your arms

And what do you think you'd ever say?

I won't listen anyway

You don't know me

And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand?

I'm a boy, no, I'm a man

You can't take me

And throw me away

And how can you learn what's never shown?

Yeah, you stand here on your own

They don't know me

Cause I'm not here

Chorus:

And I want a moment to be real

Wanna touch things I don't feel

Wanna hold on and feel I belong

And how can the world want me to change?

They're the ones that stay the same

They don't know me

Cause I'm not here

And you see the things they never see

All you wanted I could be

Now you know me

And I'm not afraid

And I want to tell you who I am

Can you help me be a man?

They can't break me

As long as I know who I am

Chorus

They can't tell me who to be

Cause I'm not what they see

Yeah, the world is still sleepin while I keep on dreaming for me

And their words are just whispers and lies thatI'll never believe

Chorus

I'm the one now

Cause I'm still here

I'm the one 

Cause I'm still here

I'm still here

I'm still here

I'm still here 

been letting my tongue loose too much lately, being too blatant and it's causing me. I'm just afraid that one day it'll cause me more than what it's doing now. I don't know what's wrong with it (maybe someone ought to teach me) but I am what you call a frank person, maybe a little too forthcoming for others. I say what I want, I am in a moment kind of guy and that's very bad because often my words are clouded by my emotions, my judgement comes thereafter. I don't know if it's entirely a negative thing that no one trusts me now, I think they're scared of me? not really sure why/how HAHAHA going back to what I'm saying I am now after all free from emotional stress that comes in with they're expeditions, kasi syempre mag-aalala ka for them. But I don't know maybe it's humans' natural tendency to be curious of what you don't know/what you want to know that's driving me crazy. I have yet to find out if I'm ok with it, the answers lies in me. In time I will know the answer and I wouldn't or would have to endure this. 

sad

edited October 6,2012: actually I am not so sad anymore. I've realized that this man has got nothing to prove. He's broken every record, raised awareness and helped many people already so No I am not so sad. He remains to be my F1 hero. 

i feel so cold.