i love these songs on my playlist :)

memories

as I was browsing through Facebook I saw a photo of what looked to me as a happy ever after photo of someone I used to know a lot. I didn't know what exactly I was feeling while browsing through their photos together all I know is that they're very happy and very much meant for each other and with that I laugh at myself for never killing the feelings that are buried deep down. I stupidly though to myself: what are you doing woman? That was suppose to be my happy ever after!! How silly of me to allow myself to have those thoughts. You cannot blame me though, I am but a human with feelings.
I remember always telling my best friend how I would want that one person to greet me on my birthday and wouldn't care if the rest of the world would forget it but as you would guess it never...


 It got me nostalgic actually I remember how happy I was then, how inspired to keep on going but in a blink of an eye it stopped.

there are bitches then there are bitches who doesn't give a damn *sigh* it goes on and on...

ha! this has been on repeat since 2pm

and I cant believe that it's over

Nobody knows where they might end up

Nobody knows

Nobody knows where they might wake up

Nobody knows

realizations

I'm happy for myself for outgrowing how I was before. I'm happy to find out that I can handle certain things better that I do before. I've discovered not being too upset and that I've finally learned to let go of things that doesn't really deserve my concern, people who shits lies in my face means they don't trust me at all so why bother pushing myself. Secondly there are just things that beyond my our anyone's control. There are people or friends, I cannot save maybe because they really didn't need saving or doesn't want to be and that's out of my hands. It's good to be concern but ... distance is important.

--this needs editing kulang sa context :/

conversations:

my bestfriend: brace yourself!
me: (in my mind) yeah I'm ready!!!

after 2 hrs...

more conversations...



conclusion: no fvcking bracing myself could prepare me for what I learned. I/We were clearly caught off guard, the only thing missing was a camcorder to record our epic reaction for things we've found out.

seriously? this headache is fvcking me over and serious school work has event began to take effect and yeah I am aware that doesn't even have any relevance at all.


just hang on tight this post is just to inform you that I'm still alive!

I throw my hands to you and run away

It´s so cold so dangerous that I can't stay

a very special man

i just couldn't find the heart to post Happy Fathers Day on Twitter, I don't know why but I suddenly had this sad emphatic type of feeling for others who doesn't have a Dad/their Dad to celebrate Fathers Day to begin with. I'd give up any of my tangible possession just for that to never happen to me. I'd be too lost without my Dad. Maisip ko lang na mawala siya sa buhay ko naiiyak na ako, parang ngayon haha hindi ko kaya punas luha.

I would never forget this incident that happen to me in highschool. I have this close to my heart neighbor/friend/classmate who knocked at our door one evening while I was doing the dishes. I looked at her a bit confused about why she's visiting me at such a late hour. She was carrying this white towel and carried herself very differently  from the person I know her to be. As I let her in on our garage she suddenly blurted out "Mau wala na si Papa" boy was I so shocked you couldn't even imagine. So I let her cry and cry not knowing what words to comfort her with. Whenever I recall this story it never fails to make me cry like a little girl. Her Dad is one of the funniest, selfless, kindest person you will ever meet. I am, and some of my classmate are great friends with her dad and it's very easy to understand why; He has in him this loads of youthful enthusiasm about everything that he easily passes unto others. He was a well loved man. And for that I miss him loads! Shot naman diyan Egot!


My dad is my everything, my bestfriend, my provider, I could just talk to him about ANYTHING and he wouldn't mind at all about me talking and whining about the same thing over and over again.  He is so brave and so generous. He wouldn't hesitate to cross the sea, the mountains to and fort just to give you what you want because he knows that'll make you happy, that the kind of Dad he really is. hahaha I cannot write anymore for crying too much.  having a break.....  One of the many things I like about my dad is he knows how to say sorry, unlike my mum. He never fails to keep track of things in his own simple way, he knows how to listen and what to say to me. He is a man of great principles and stands by what is just. He is an honest man but not a perfect one. My dad is so much more that what this post could tell you.

I love you loads Papa

right now I smell freshly baked bread and some rekindled old romance....

YOLO! YOLO! PIOLO!

Friday was planned or maybe not at all, it was just two of them planning things and the two of us hurriedly agreed to going out so it was set, the four of us shall have a drinking sesh. Reason school would freakin' beat us into bits so better start partying early while we can. Come school time and we've decided to invite more people but only two people came thru and the original one of the two who planned the event wasn't able to attend but it was a normal drinking sesh nonetheless! Come being tipsy by 10:40 pm with a friend so drunk she can hardly walk ... or not! We were worried about her getting home safe, especially getting home safe with her phone still with her, we decided to set sail towards her far away place to send her home, even after her many warnings about not having a safe transpo home. After a good hour of riding the scary public transpo we were back at McDo taft munching down on chicken fillets and burgers yum! and walking our hyper asses back (to my) home! since our town is celebrating our patrons' feast day, fun programs were set on stage and we paused to see a dance number with a gay guy being carried out, tossed out like a yoyo by his groupies in the air, definitely scary! Jeep was scarce but a plan was brewing on my mind to get my friend safely back home. And thank God!!! because for the 8000th time that night He provided for us! So the three of us slept soundly that night!

Come morning and my friend and I cooked a hearty breakfast for the two of us! Avocado salad + corned beef and rice! Afterwards I encouraged her to come to the market with me because lunch must be prepared for my family, and she whole heartily agreed to do my bidding! I toured her towards the market and introduced her to my friends/suki there. I could tell that she was enjoying the experience. She volunteered to dice up the onions, garlic, tomatoes & ginger for the dish & we were so caught up with prep that we've hardly paid attention to our phones. My other friend so it turned out was texting us that she would be coming round 11am, we were surprised (pleasantly) and she helped with the cooking as well. Now cooking for me is a big deal, I don't know why but it just is. The two of them basically completed the entire coking task for me, dicing up the spices,  in short they cooked for me & my family. I swear that was the yummiest guinisang monngo I've ever tasted in my entire life! those two don't know how deeply deeply touched I am with their gesture! I am very thankful... more than what I can show and tell them.

But wait.. there's more! The day isn't over yet! by all means we were just starting our adventure for that day! we took a bath and headed to "school" also now known by some as "the mall", int here we hang out, watched a dog show, ate crepes & icecream and had a really fun time playing our fave card game! It was very enjoying.. despite the rain ;)


I am not sure if it's the alcohol or the  YOLO! YOLO! PIOLO!  mentality we've recently imbibed but it was loads of FUN!  

wrote this on my journal notebook last night:







as I was lying down embracing the harsh reality that tomorrow when I wake up classes will resume once more, vacation time is over and that today is the last time that summer vacation would be of that use to me ever again. For the past fourteen years it has been my haven against the stress from school. By the time the next summer arrives I could gladly proclaim that I am a college graduate.




One thing that got me thinking was how in this summer I've only gotten as much as two person (who are close to me) actually asking me how I really am fairing with everything that's been happening in life, in a sincere intention and not because I initiated the conversation with them. It made me sad actually. It alarmed me, in some sort of way, that only two persons did get out of their way to say hi. It scared me into thinking what my relations would become with my friends when school is already over for us. Would they all be too lazy and/or busy to care? Would I suffice enough charisma/interest to keep the fire burning?




Only will tell....

the exact same words I've been asking myself lately

this post...

mmmm...

so I have just finished my 2nd peanut butter cup of the day and well I just can't get enough of it! I've loved loved loved Reese's since I was a child it may as if I'll never out grow my liking for it. I find that i

t's somewhat of a cross between my fave Pinoy chocolate & the classic milk choco taste

this might be the second on my long list of fattening addiction

the classic Pinoy tsokolate fave, though my parents and my tita said it has greatly reduced in the size over the years.

this one is soft and fluffy and yummy but not too sweet like the ones above

my tita always make it a point to bring me home one of these

and this is my family's guilty pleasure! highly addictive as fuck